My Existential Crisis

My Existential Crisis

Today you’re going to get some of the bad and the ugly of what lead to my breakdown.

For my entire adult life, I had absolutely no real interest in having a child of my own. In fact, the thought of it, made me cringe. Whenever I heard a child cry, it was like nails on a chalk board to me. I remember thinking, I can’t quite understand why anyone would choose that as a life path. My mindset was that as soon have a child, your own life is over as you know it.


I could go on and on but I think you get the extreme resistance I had created in my mind and there was some serious armor around my heart because of it. I was pretty clear on what I wanted in life and it didn’t include children.


Then I met Liz and something in me felt a little differently. But for both of us if it was going to happen, the thought was that it would be a few years down the road. However, as life would have it, 4 months into our relationship (the day after my 47th birthday) we...

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Destiny Is Calling

dad destiny fatherhood love Feb 17, 2019

It’s in the moments of decision that our destiny is shaped. I’m pretty sure Anthony Robbins said this. I’m a believer in these wise words. Fate is what happens if we simply move about our lives mindlessly. Yet, if before we “do”, we pause, take a breath and think, “how is what I’m about to choose to do or say going to affect not only my own happiness and peace of mind, but also those around me?”, we have the opportunity to shape our reality.


This morning I had that opportunity to choose. I was exhausted when the alarm went off at 4 am, so I fell back asleep and happened to wake up 30 minutes later. Now I knew this was going to affect my morning routine a bit. Based on everything I typically like to do, today I was only going to have 10 minutes to either sit in meditation or do the dishes, which were pretty piled up. My morning meditation is everything to me and often sets the tone for “my day”. So this should be a no...

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Raising A Son To Be A Gentle Man

dad fatherhood gentle man son Jun 21, 2018

It’s Thursday morning and I just got back from walking the dogs wth Skye strapped to my chest in an Ergo Baby.  I’m sitting here at our home, looking out into the living room. Right across from me, Skye is fast asleep in his Boppy, and our doggies, Faith and Nalu are just behind him sleeping as well. It’s an awesome sight.

As we were out on on our walk, I began to experience what Jack Handey would refer to as “Deep Thoughts”. I got to thinking about what an awesome opportunity I’ve been given. I get to be a father to a son. Never did I imagine that I would have this role in this lifetime, but here it is.

One day this boy will grow to be a man. But what isn’t given is what kind of man he will become. A lot of that will be determined by how he experiences me. Why?

Because as I understand it, most of his personality and core beliefs about life will be formed in his first 5-6 years on the planet.Right now, essentially he is a blank slate,...

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A Birth Story: Dad's-Eye View

 
This is a birth story. It’s a dad’s-eye view of what it was like to experience the labor and delivery of your first child. I can tell you in advance that it has strengthened my belief that nature knew what it was doing when it set it up in a way that women would be the ones to birth babies. Why?

Because most men couldn’t handle it. Period. I don’t know about you, but if I get a cold, I milk it for all it’s worth. You would think the end of the world was near. I’m betting you might know a man or two or three like this.

So I’m going to make a big statement. In this man’s humble opinion, women are the stronger sex and it’s time we acknowledge this. It’s my hope that this story serves to support this view.

But I digress. Before we dive into the labor side of this story, I’d like to give you a little background context. Due to the events of last year, (read more about them in my blog “My Trip On A...

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