Just yesterday Skye and I returned home from playing at the park and he was hoping his Mama was home....but she wasn’t. This brought on a complete meltdown. As I held him he was wailing.
My first reaction was to try and talk it out and tell him his Mom would be home shortly...no bueno. Next I tried to distract him by offering to play with his trucks, or ball or stuffies or make him his favorite food...this list goes on.
But he wasn’t having it...the tears and crying carried on.
But then it happened, I recognized that for most of my life, this was my default...to try to “run from raw emotions or create distractions so as to not really feel deeply”.
All of a sudden, I felt a calm wash over me and I whispered in his ear that I was simply going to hold him close and we were going to feel all the feels together. I told him I’d hold the space for him to be sad and cry, to be angry, to be frustrated, to feel confused or whatever he needed to feel and express.
The tears and crying kept coming but in a matter of a couple few minutes he calmed down and even fell asleep for a bit.
It was a light 💡 bulb moment for me, a reminder that as Dads, its super important to hold space for our children, especially boys to feel emotions and let them know it’s healthy and good to cry and get that Sh$t out.
Whatever it is, so we don’t keep it bottled up inside until it explodes at inappropriate times in inappropriate ways.
For far too many boys/men, for far too long, have been taught to suck it up and be strong. Well you know what, in my humble opinion, soft is the new strong 💪
Thanks for helping me evolve my dear son. I love you.
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